Can’t you see I’m busy
When your child hears this, they hear “I don’t have time to listen to your problems.” You want to make sure that you make time for your child. Just a simple 5 minutes can make all the difference.
Obviously your child is upset; it’s okay for them to show their feelings. You don’t want them to hold in their emotions and have it build up inside and one day explode. Just sit them down and try to calm them down.
What’s wrong with you
If you ask you child this, they will not understand the question, it will make them feel worthless and will not understand the action that they are doing is wrong. Perhaps he/she will think they are not smart and will feel like they can never live up to your acceptations.
Why can’t you
Again asking such questions implies that you don’t believe in your child and will damage their self esteem. Instead you can simply show what you want them to do, lead by example.
I’m going to leave without you
This instills fear. Yes you may have your child running after you saying, “Don’t leave me.” But there is another way, you can simply pick up your child and carry him/her out of the store. This is showing him/her that the behavior is unacceptable and they will be removed from the area.
In my day
When speaking to your teen you want to try to avoid using this phrase, the reason why is because it’s not your day now, times have changed so have the people and the situations. Our children are going through different experiences and will not understand. It’s better to listen to what they have to say and look at each situation that they are going through.
When you grow up, you will understand
This again is applying to your young adult that he or she doesn’t understand you and that they will never. Make your teen feel like they are on the same page with you. Explains things don’t just simply, say, “when you grow up you will understand.” It’s our jobs as parents to teach our kids what they don’t understand.
Just wait until your dad gets home
This saying just simply undermines you as a parent, this is telling your child that I know I don’t have power over you but your dad does. The child loses respect for you and put fear of their dad in place. Not a good way to go.